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Military families are uniquely affected by work and life stressors. Deployment, pre-deployment training and preparation, as well as reintegration into civilian can affect not only the service member, but their spouse and family. Service Members While Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) receives a great deal of attention and discussion, transition stress is another affliction affecting veterans […]
Military families are uniquely affected by work and life stressors. Deployment, pre-deployment training and preparation, as well as reintegration into civilian can affect not only the service member, but their spouse and family.
Service Members
While Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) receives a great deal of attention and discussion, transition stress is another affliction affecting veterans that is often overlooked. According to a 2018 study published by Clinical Psychology Review, many veterans struggle with the transition back to civilian life. The excitement and purpose of serving in uniform, the sense of belonging, and the camaraderie of their squad can cause transitioning veterans to feel a loss of identity as they shift back into civilian life. Difficulty finding new employment and re-establishing relationships with family and friends after deployment can also present unique challenges. Left untreated, these issues can lead to anxiety, depression and other disorders.
Spouse
Being married to a service member uniquely affects a spouse. With their spouse’s expected long-term absence comes the stress and responsibility of maintaining a home and family alone. Uprooting from one home to another is stressful and exhausting, and presents the military spouse with numerous challenges to overcome as they support their deployed spouse, a home and family.
Family
Every child reacts differently to a parent’s deployment. However a child reacts, they will likely struggle with the change in their family dynamic. Children are emotionally vulnerable to the effects of deployment. Studies have shown that young children with a deployed parent are more likely to exhibit behavioral problems, as well as experience depression and anxiety.
There are many difficulties military families must face in selfless service to our nation’s security. Our counselors and therapists are experienced in supporting military families as they cope with the unique challenges presented by the military lifestyle. Aloha Behavioral accepts Tricare and is proud to provide effective, comprehensive mental health services tailored to military active duty and their families. To schedule an appointment, call 801.399.1818.
Many parents experience clinical depression each year. As if the disease weren’t enough, recognizing its effects on your children can be quite painful. Studies have shown that children of depressed parents are at greater risk of not only developing depression themselves, but also of poor physical health, problems bonding, anxiety, poor self-esteem and aggressive behavior. Of […]
Many parents experience clinical depression each year. As if the disease weren’t enough, recognizing its effects on your children can be quite painful.
Studies have shown that children of depressed parents are at greater risk of not only developing depression themselves, but also of poor physical health, problems bonding, anxiety, poor self-esteem and aggressive behavior. Of course, different things will determine the severity of any potential issues the child may face down the road, such as the quality of the relationship between the parent and child, and how quickly the parent can recover and maintain a healthy mental and emotional state.
Though it is not possible to completely protect children from the effects of a parent’s depression, there are some things you can do to help your child understand and cope. While it will be difficult, children cope unusually well if their parent is honest, able to communicate what’s going on, and offer support as much as possible.
As communication is critical, here are some things children of depressed parents need to hear.
It’s Not Your Fault
From a child’s point of view, the world really does revolve around them. Translation: Children of depressed parents will naturally assume they did something to make mommy or daddy sad and angry. In order to help your child develop a positive self-esteem, make it clear that what is going on is not their fault.
You are Not Responsible for Taking Care of Me
Even if a child is convinced they are not the cause of the depression, they will naturally feel compelled to make their parent well. When nothing they do eradicates the sadness, they will feel as though they failed. It’s important you clearly communicate that getting better is your responsibility and not theirs.
I Love You
Let your child know how much you love them and that your goal is to get well so you can take care of them. Also, it’s important to articulate that if you feel you cannot take care of their needs properly, you will find another adult who can. Be sure to be as specific as possible about what need (driving them to practice) and who will help them (Aunt Sarah will take you and pick you up).
It’s Okay to Feel Your Feelings
Children will feel guilty for having bad feelings toward their sick parent. Though they love their parent, when their needs aren’t being met, they will naturally feel anger, sadness and perhaps resentment.
Be sure to let them know whatever they feel is okay, and help them find outlets and express these feelings. Drawing is a great outlet as is physical activity.
If you are experiencing clinical depression, the most important thing you can do to support your children is to take care of yourself. You are the most important person in your child’s life so taking care of yourself is critical to their well-being.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact Aloha Behavioral today at 801.399.1818.
When tragedies like mass shootings occur, most of us struggle to make sense of it. How could something so terrible happen? What would cause another human being to do such a thing? And how can we move on with the knowledge that this latest mass shooting won’t be the last? After a traumatic event, it […]
When tragedies like mass shootings occur, most of us struggle to make sense of it. How could something so terrible happen? What would cause another human being to do such a thing? And how can we move on with the knowledge that this latest mass shooting won’t be the last?
After a traumatic event, it is common to experience emotions such as shock, anger, sadness, and fear. Many people, especially young children, experience trouble sleeping and concentrating. While it may seem your life will never get back to normal, there are things you can do to cope and find emotional relief.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
During this time, it is important that you are honest with yourself about your feelings. Shoving them down may seem like the only way to function, but in the long-run, ignoring your emotions will only make things worse.
Take some time each day to connect with whatever it is you are feeling. Allow your reaction to your own feelings to flow through you and do not judge yourself.
Let Go of Your Need to Control
One of the reasons people have such powerful reactions after a major tragedy is because it reminds all of us that we don’t have as much control over our lives as we like to think we do. While it may seem counter intuitive, it is important to let go of this need to control every aspect of our lives. If we don’t, we end up feeling like failures on top of our other coping emotions.
Each day, try and practice what is called by many as “radical acceptance.” Accept and acknowledge that the world isn’t as safe as you’d like it. Accept and acknowledge that you cannot control every aspect of your life. When you do this, you feel a sense of calm and peace, as if you have just laid down a heavy weight and burden.
Try to Rely on Logic
After a tragedy, it is very easy to become so fraught with emotions that we lose all sense of logic and reasoning. Logic and emotion are like Yin and Yang. Logic balances out our emotions to ensure we are perceiving our reality as accurately as possible.
Our emotions tell us the world is a dangerous place and we or our loved ones may become victims of a mass shooting. But logic would remind us that there are millions more people who have never and will never be the victim of a mass shooting.
If you feel panicky, take a step back from your emotions and your natural “fight or flight” response and logically evaluate the likelihood of personal danger in your life.
Speak with Someone
It is not always easy to deal with our emotions. They can sometimes seem overwhelming and leave us feeling helpless against them. In times like these, it’s a good idea to seek the help of a trained counselor who can offer tools and insights to cope.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment options, please reach out to Aloha at 801.399.1818.
No parent likes hearing that their child is acting out in class. At first, most of us want to blame ourselves and figure out what we’ve done wrong. When we come up empty, we tend to put the blame on our child, and sometimes we even get angry. The truth is, parents do the best […]
No parent likes hearing that their child is acting out in class. At first, most of us want to blame ourselves and figure out what we’ve done wrong. When we come up empty, we tend to put the blame on our child, and sometimes we even get angry.
The truth is, parents do the best they can and so do their children. There are a myriad of reasons why children act out at school.
Big Changes
A divorce, move to a new city, or death in the family are big life events that are hard on everyone. This is particularly true for young children who do not know how to express their feelings and have not yet developed coping mechanisms.
Sleep Issues
Has something happened to interrupt your child’s sleep patterns? Are they not getting their naps? Are they waking up frequently during the night from noisy neighbors or growing pains? Even adults act out when we don’t get proper sleep.
Self-Esteem Issues
Children develop self-esteem issues for different reasons, but one of the ramifications is changes in mood that can lead to disruptive behavior.
These are some of the reasons why your child may be acting out in school. But now the questions becomes, what can you do about it as their parent?
Talk to Your Child
First, see if you can pinpoint the cause. If it’s not something already listed, do some digging. Take your child to the doctor. Is their hearing and sight okay? Do they have any GI trouble? Are they being picked on? Are they getting enough exercise? Talk openly with your child and ask them what is going on.
Set Boundaries
If your child has never had any problems acting out in the past, they may not be clear on what is and is NOT acceptable behavior. Make it clear what you expect from that at home as well as school.
Seek Counseling
You may be able to identify and solve the issue yourself. For example, if your child was frustrated from their poor eyesight, a trip to the eye doctor may quickly solve your problems. However, if the behavioral issue stems from a big life change or poor self-esteem, you may need the assistance of a trained behavioral therapist.
If you have a child who is acting out in school and are interested in exploring treatment options, please contact Aloha Behavioral Consultants at 801.399.1818.
Sources:
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-behavioral/2018/07/8-reasons-why-your-child-might-be-having-prolonged-behavior-issues-that-arent-concerning/
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/parenting-tips/2012/07/7-hints-for-setting-boundaries-with-your-kids/
https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/children-medication.aspx
It’s that time of year again when big yellow buses can be seen driving around the neighborhood and school bells begin ringing. Going back to school can definitely be an exciting time for parents and children. But for some kids, especially younger ones, going back to school after a summer break can feel overwhelming and […]
It’s that time of year again when big yellow buses can be seen driving around the neighborhood and school bells begin ringing. Going back to school can definitely be an exciting time for parents and children.
But for some kids, especially younger ones, going back to school after a summer break can feel overwhelming and scary. While this can be fairly common, there are some things parents can do to help their child prepare for the new school year ahead:
Check Your own Emotions
Parents of young children may also find it a bit sad to send their child off to the first day of kindergarten or first grade. Your child will pick up on your emotions so be sure to put on a good face and show them good energy.
Shop and Talk
Young children that are very nervous about starting school may not want to talk about it. It’s a good idea to take your child shopping for their school supplies and clothes and use this time to try and discuss their feelings about things. Having an activity to do can often help a child express themselves better. Also, while you want your child to be able to express their fears and worries, try and steer the conversation towards things they may be looking forward to as well. Encourage them to recognize that although change is scary, it can also be really great and fun!
Practice
Summer was most likely filled with days and nights that did not fit a tight schedule. Your child may have been able to stay up longer and sleep in later. It will be a shock for them to suddenly have to go to bed early and get up to an alarm clock. Practice getting back into the proper sleep routine before the first week of school.
Connect with Future Classmates
If your child will not know anyone in their class, try to see if you can have a playdate before the school year begins so they can meet some new friends. This will make it much easier come that first day of school when they see a friendly and familiar face or two.
Get Guidance
If you feel the stress of starting a new school year is overwhelming and your youngster and you are having a hard time handling things on your own, seek expert advice from a mental health professional who can help both of you cope.
If you’d like some help with your child’s anxiety, please call us at 801.399.1818 and we’d be happy to discuss treatment options.
SOURCES
https://psychcentral.com/news/2006/08/07/control-back-to-school-anxiety/160.html